My son's ABA recommended giving him bubbles to blow because the blowing causes the muscles that you use to go #2 to push. We are still in the testing phase of it our selves but I figured I would share.

Hello I to am new to this site..My son was 4 as well and also had fear of the toilet with sitting down to poop..What I did was found a good book that he liked and had him read it until he relaxed his body enough to go..his fear was that he was goin to fall in the hole so i needed to distract him..I hope this will be useful for you and if so please let me know..Hang in there it is very frustrating but you all will get through it.

Oh! I forgot! We went toilet seat shopping and let our son pick his mini seat. We had his and her seats for both kids, since I heard some kids don't like "contaminated" seats. And we put a stool under their feet so they wouldn't dangle.

I am in the exact same boat. My son turns six in a few days and still will not poop, while he's been pee trained for a few years. I spoke to his doctor a while back who said it's quite common with autistic children (particularly in instances like my son where there seems to really be no reason, he's not scared or anything). I tried to tough it out one time and said he wasn't leaving the potty til he went. Needless to say he never did. The doctor said that I shouldn't push too hard because with ASD kids it can cause constipation, which we also battle if something breaks his routine and he doesn't go that one time. If anyone has any further suggestions, i'd love to hear them!!!

My daughter went through the same situation between the ages of 3 & 4. She would pee in the potty but would hold her poop for about a week. After about 5 or 6 days, she couldnt control her bowels and I would have to take her to the bathroom and hold her down so that she could relieve herself. I don't think she was afraid of the potty, but didn't like the feeling of having to poop. I just had to be patient and keep encouraging her to go poop in the bathroom. Amazingly, she finally started going poo in the potty about a month after she started pre-K.