My Son Does Not Want To Sleep With The Light Off | MyAutismTeam

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My Son Does Not Want To Sleep With The Light Off
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

He screams "nightmares"! And screams and cries at the top of his lungs and throws everything around in his room when I turn the light off.he insists on sleeping with the light onbut I know that he is not getting the rest he needs because the light is on. Help.

posted September 25, 2018
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A MyAutismTeam Member

With all due respect to everyone that's been kind enough to answer, but I really disagree with turning the light off after he goes to sleep. Those with ASD are constantly looking for reliable things that make their world orderly and safe. When he goes to sleep with the light on, but then wakes up with it off, his world becomes disorganized and scary.

My son Dylan has to have a certain clip playing on his computer all the time, even if we're not home. He knows instantly in the morning, or when returning home 'exactly' where the video should be in the loop. If it's in the wrong spot, by even a few seconds, he gets frantic and terrified. He seems to feel that if he can rely on his computer to always do what it's supposed to, then the rest of the world is probably working ok too.

And try and remember, all behavior is communication. I'm a widower that had a new girlfriend and I got a little bit distracted by this new thing. One night we were on the couch watching a movie, my new girlfriend and me, when Dylan came out of his room, grabbed a box of Cheerios, and walked across the kitchen dumping them on the floor. He said, "What do you think of that Pop!!" My (now ex) girlfriend said, "You need to do something about that!" So I did. I said, "You know what Babybear…If you've chosen this way to get my attention then I know that you've been trying other ways for a while. I'm so sorry that I put you in a position where this was the only way you could think of to get me to listen to you…He said, "Ohhhhhhh…..that's ok…." and started cleaning up his mess.

Throwing things, being angry and violent are not symptoms of autism. They're symptoms of a person in pain. If you can find that pain, without punishment, you will see an amazing difference in this amazing young person.

What do you think about putting a dimmer on your light? At night at bedtime drop the light just a little bit, while watching him close to make sure it's not too far. You may never get the room completely dark, but I'll bet you can, slowly, lower the level to a place that you'll both be comfortable.

The anger comes from not being heard, and being afraid. Take a step back, understand that even though his decisions make little sense to you sometimes that he's actually the expert on autism. Follow his lead instead of insisting that he follow yours (Speaking in general, of course I have no idea how the two of you interact) and it can be life changing for both of you.

I'm sorry I got so long winded…this is just a really passionate subject for me.

Good luck! I hope this helps a little, let me know if I can ever help.

Dwayne

posted September 26, 2018
A MyAutismTeam Member

I might also help to have a stuffed animal or something like that with him. Have him imagine the toy is watching the room for him. It's a kind of talisman that works for a lot of kids.

posted September 26, 2018
A MyAutismTeam Member

My son had trouble with the dark too, night light wasn’t enough. I got a lamp and it worked. Hard to imagine how anyone can sleep with s bright light in their faces but my son did lol maybe a lamp can work fit you too?

posted September 25, 2018
A MyAutismTeam Member

I forgot to add "white noise" helps sometimes. The sound of a fan, for example, cuts down on the silence and the odd noises of the night.

posted September 27, 2018
A MyAutismTeam Member

Keep the light on. Better than him being scared and anxious. Also we turn the lights on before she wakes up and lights in the nearby rooms are always on so it’s never completely dark.

posted September 25, 2018 (edited)

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