Thank you! This helps a lot 🙏

Your very welcome!

You’re very welcome! This is what this community is for. To be there for one another during this journey. Does your husband notice these observations as well? Being at odds with what you’re observing can be a strain as well. Children are like wolves and vampires when it comes to emotions. Everything is heightened or increased. Seeing or feeling their parent’s frustrations and emotions puts children in a situation to act closed off, act out, or even meltdown. So, yes, your anxiety could be putting off, “I don’t like this person around you.” To test that theory for yourself be friendly or not anxious to a stranger and see if your child will engage with them. If they do, theory solved. If they don’t then that is your queue for your husband to see as well that your child is asking you to help protect their boundaries since they can’t speak for themselves at this age. Setting boundaries is a nice gesture. However, helping or showing how to play with your child can also help your MIL. She definitely loves children and that shows with your husband being affectionate. There is no harm in that, unless you as the child’s mum had a bad experience with people being overly affectionate with you when you were a kid and you didn’t have the protection you are trying to give your kid. That sort of shows in your anxiety. If that doesn’t apply to you at all then definitely try to build more of a connection with the MIL so she will be more willing to listen to other ways of playing next to your child without overly touching. I sure hope this helps. Sending lots of love and support your way! 🫶🏼

Hi, thank you for your message! My baby goes away from the person wanting to play somewhere else it seems. He doesn't cry but also doesn't smile. It is hard for me to know what is him or me. What I notice is that after he breastfeeds anxiously and during visits there are no poos. But maybe it is because I am anxious and he feels it.
Really hope to be able to work it out with maybe some esay adjustments. In my husband's family it is unstructured time and 24/7 together, which is nightmare to me.
I also struggle with communicating as I refer to a book my MIL also read, but I think her possessiveness and eagerness makes her forget the fact that what you want as an adult is not what a baby needs.
If you have any other thoughts on this I am interested 🙌

Firstly I’m sending you a huge air hug! Anyone regardless if they are family or not touching your kid can be overwhelming. Trust me I get it.

But I couldn’t help but notice while reading that you never mentioned how your kid responded to the touching?!?

That is the key to all of this is how is your baby handling it? Do they smile and laugh? Do they cry instantly?

That observation alone should be enough for you and your husband to have a better understanding on what is best for your child.

As parents we have to remind ourselves that just because we don’t like something doesn’t mean our kid won’t like it either. Your child is still very very young at 10months. But being able to tell how they respond to people should help.

Hope this helped. 🫶🏼